Meditating

I'm not a regular meditator. But by God the DVD says to meditate after doing Shiva Nata so by God I am doing it now. Yes, I know, whatever. But Havi says it too! So there. I am now trying to meditate after doing Shiva Nata. And I tell you what: it is HARD. Even harder than the other times I have tried it! I mean, let's ponder this for a moment. Do something that is specifically designed to stimulate your brain, and get it all fired up and active, and then sit down and DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO IT AT ALL. See? Hard.

So here's the latest moment of hmmm: I have stopped trying to just empty my thoughts or let them pass or "notice them then let them go" or whatever. It doesn't happen. Let's notice a thought and then stop! Um, no. When I pay attention to a thought, it sticks around and gets comfortable and tweets to its friends that there's a great thought party up in here. So I am doing what is probably meditation 101 or perhaps remedial - I am building a picture in my mind instead. If a thought comes into my mind, instead of letting it go, I turn it into a part of the scene. Yesterday was windy and leaves were flying everywhere, so the scene in my mind was me walking in the middle of a whirlwind of flying leaves. Each thought became another leaf that blew around me, but I was the walking center of stillness and they were around me and not touching me. Today it's rainy, so in the scene the thoughts were raindrops bouncing off of my umbrella. Etc. It seems to so far be weather themed, and related to what's happening at the time. We'll see what transpires as the days go on.

Maybe when I get really good at it, practice it long enough, or get more epiphanies, it will be easier for me to just have the empty mind. But for now this is helping.