Trying a VPA

Havi, who is my hero when it comes to self-improvement, has a weekly ritual of writing out Very Personal Ads, which are things she is hoping to find/accomplish/become/realize in the coming week. There are also Gwishes, which in my mind are both bigger and more nebulous than the VPA, but whatever. That's for later. The VPA format goes like this:

Here's what I want

Ways this can work

My commitment

I'm going to try it today. I didn't have the guts to put it in the comments on her blog, which is what a lot of people do. It is like an entry into her community, which I desperately want (perhaps a future VPA) but I'm afraid to NOT get any feedback. Here, I know I won't, so it's OK. If I post it there, the possibility of feedback/response will make me all anxious, and the potential/probable lack of it will make me all bummed.

So. Here in my safe little online hermitage, where almost nobody ever stumbles in, I will practice and get into the groove of it, before I send it out into the world for scrutiny.

My VPA for the week

Here's what I want:

To find an exercise regimen that makes me feel good, gets me in shape, and doesn't feel like a chore. Oh, and it would be nice to have it be cheap or free, too.

Perhaps because it's been very hot and very humid lately, I have experienced a distinct aversion to anything that makes me sweat profusely. (Which, you know, has been anything more than breathing the past few weeks.) Which puts a crimp in almost any kind of exercise.

But meanwhile I'm still looking for a way to a) be at home in my body and b) give it the love and attention it deserves. But if it's too much of a chore, it won't happen, and I will feel defeated, and there are all the attendant feelings of trying to control my body rather than work with it, and there's a lot going on there clearly.

Ways this can work:

I can do more Shiva Nata, but only do it slowly while it's hot.

I can try to go swimming more often.

I can find a t'ai chi or qigong class that fits with my schedule (and my beloved's, because he'll have to watch the girls).

I can do more things that I enjoy, which burn calories but aren't technically "exercise," like gardening and taking the girls for walks.

I can look into dance classes, which is something I've been wanting to try for a while.

My commitment:

To keep pondering.

To give myself permission to try something and then drop it if it doesn't work out. With as little guilt as possible.

To accept myself and my body where I am right now, while still lovingly moving towards a healthier lifestyle and relationship with myself and with food and with movement.

To take it easy easy easy this week, because I've already pulled something in my back from moving furniture, and OW.

Hey, this was kind of fun! I'll have to think of more VPA's for next week.