Cynicism prevails

One of my guilty pleasures is watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. For a while, when I was first coming to terms with my depression, and hadn't found the right vitamin/exercise/diet regimen to at least keep on an even keel, watching the show was my weekly catharsis. I would get the dajamou to bed a little early, grab a beer or glass of wine (this was pre-pregnancy, natch), and bawl my eyes out at the overwhelmed joy of the families as they finally saw their fancy schmancy new house, a new lease on life. Often accompanied by a fundraiser which pays off the mortgage or starts a college scholarship or benefits a charity the family works on. It's a formula, they've been doing it for five years, same exact thing, but it works. And it worked for me.

I still enjoy the show these days, but my experience of it has changed dramatically. For one thing, the dajamou clued in to the fact that watching this show was a little bit important to me, so she determined to insert herself into my weekly indulgence as much as possible. This created a bedtime fury-drama unparalleled in our family history, until I promised to tape it for her and NOT WATCH IT without her. Fortunately, I later discovered the Full Episode Player on ABC's web site. This mollified the dajamou, and put the bedtime routine back down to its normal defcon 1 or 2 status. However, the girl CAN NOT SIT STILL FOR 30 SECONDS unless muppets or cartoons are involved. And all the questions! Ye gods, the questions. I find myself having to concentrate harder than I really ever should be concentrating on a TV show.

And, being the mom, with the constant mental Peanut Gallery judging my parenting skills, I also have to start looking at the show and what messages it's sending to my girl. The super-obvious branding (want me to tell you what company makes the Move That Bus? Where they go to get all their furniture and appliances? Who almost always does the flooring?), the sad stories that give her a wee inkling of what a terrible world it can be, the rampant consumerism, the more-is-better design attitude that is peppering McMansions across the country...suddenly I can't just turn my brain off and go all maudlin for an hour or so once a week.

So, I find myself analyzing the show, dusting off the critical thinking skills, and coming away from each episode just a little less satisfied than before. I don't know how much longer the series will go on (the dajamou's hoping to be a designer on the show when she grows up), but I have a feeling that my devotion to it is already starting to wane.

Heroes, though? Heroes I could watch forever.

News

Well. I'm pregnant.

And I can't decide how I feel about it. Sometimes I'm really happy, sometimes I'm nervous, sometimes I'm just plain old exhausted. I don't remember being this worn out with the dajamou, but as I keep being reminded, I'm older and more out of shape now. I seem to have some kind of reticence about telling people, too. So far the dajadaddy has told almost everyone that knows. It's weird.

Also? We got an exercise bike. A pretty sweet one, actually. I'm trying to get myself eased into the whole exercise thing, with just a few minutes at a time. I'm not in a rush. Any exercise at all is an improvement for me now.

I'd like to think that my internal focus (read: almost complete lack of social interaction) lately has been a result of the pregnancy and is a good and natural thing. Growing a baby is an amazing thing, and I'm just floating in a cloud of contentment and hormones and the mystery that is life, right?

Right?

It's a whole new world

The dajamou announced upon getting home from preschool that she wanted to take our dog for a walk. Which doesn't sound that interesting until you understand that we have a 95 pound Akita for a dog. He's a big wuss and lets her get away with a lot, but he still weighs 3 times as much as she does.

I let her do it anyway, and I've been occasionally going to the door and watching the shenanigans. There's a lot of tangled leashes and legs, a lot of tugs when he wants to stop and sniff and she wants to keep meandering, and at one point she came in (without him, I might add, which is alarming) and said that he kept running off down the hill and our neighbor had to go fetch him twice. Just now I heard hollering through the storm door, and when I got to the door to see if she needed me, she was trying to get him to sit down. "Sit! SIT! Siiiiiit.....Sit!" Vacillating back and forth between the authoritative and the cajoling.

I'm not too worried about him getting cranky with her or anything like that. My biggest concern is if he sees a squirrel and goes dashing off after it while her hand is stuck in the loop handle. But I figure if today's walk goes well, I might have the beginnings of a daily chore that could translate into a weekly allowance, which could potentially lead to more chores like CLEANING UP THE HORRIBLE DISGUSTING FILTHY PLAYROOM.

But the dajamou has a history of noticing these ploys of mine and nipping them in the bud. I either need to get more sneaky and manipulative or just lay down the law.