Where's the village?

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Shoes, glorious shoes!

I have always hated shoe shopping. Well, OK, that's not exactly true. On the occasions when I actually found a shoe that a) I liked, and b) fit me, it was a heady, nay giddy, experience. But those times have been super-few and VERY far between, because, as the dajadaddy likes to say, my feet are double-wides. That's right. My size, according to those little metal torture devices at the shoe store, are 7.5WW. And let me tell you, those are hard to come by at the Red, White & Blue thrift store.

When we were in Portland, I at least had a place where I could buy some decent sneakers and walking shoes, albeit at full price (shudder): Jay's Wide Shoes. And while it was nice to know there was a store where I was guaranteed to find something, their selection was a little... how shall I put it...


Face it. Old people are the majority of the ones with the wide feet and, not surprisingly, they also have their scales tipped in favor of comfort over beauty. So while there was, in the interest of full disclosure, a display of clogs and sandals and strappy heels in one corner, they were fair overwhelmed with the kind of fake leather sneakers with matching laces or velcro straps that you find on nurses, mail carriers, and...old people.

So still, not so much with the fun shoe shopping for the dajamama.

You kind of know where this is going, don't you? Yes, it's going there. Today, I discovered Zappos.

If anyone were actually reading this, they would find a way to make a fist and shove it through the zillions of miles of fiber-optic cabling and past my laptop LCD to whack me upside the head. Zappos has been around forever, and why the hell has it taken me this long? I did know about it, to be honest, and I'd heard it was a good place to look for wide shoes, and I knew that eventually I was going to have to sit down and figure out if they had a few things in my size. But oh! The rapture! The joy! When I discovered the "narrow your selection" option and selected my size and clicked on the "all casuals" category, just for the halibut, what do I see?

Nearly a thousand selections. ONE THOUSAND.

Oh. My. God. I have died and gone to heaven, and all I want for the rest of my birthdays and Christmases is gift cards to Zappos.

The end.